Baba Ram Das wrote a book about being older. Think it was call Still Here. Read it about 6 years ago. This morning I had a thought about Christianity. Many people believe that in order to go to heaven you MUST be a Christian. Many believe you must be a bible thumping Christian. Then I thought about God telling me that He held me in his hands when my son died. Okay, now to pull this all together quickly. We are all held in the Great Creator’s hands. He knows where your soul is 24/7. Everyone – bible thumpers, Buddhists, atheists, all of us. He loves us unconditionally. He gives us the freedom to choose how we wish to live and think. And still He holds us all in His Hands. Big hands. Jesus said that in his father’s house there were many mansions. There is room for all of us. How do we stay there? Well, Faith in God’s Goodness and unending Forgiveness and Love. There is room for us all. Is there room in your heart? Things to think about today. Namaste.

I have avoided writing here way too long. No wonder I was feeling depressed. I haven’t spoken to my friends in ages. Well, here I am in Montana. Am living and working in Indian territory. Actually, I work for St. Labre Indian School (www.stlabre.org). We have approximately 760 students that we educate at one of our three campuses. Main campus is in Ashland (next to the Northern Cheyenne reservation and two smaller campuses on the Crow reservation. Been here since 2010. Love it. This is big sky country. The first year we arrived it snowed from Nov 17th through the end of March. Then we had our first experience with floods in the Spring. Lots of Rain. Mosquitos by the thousands arrived in early summer. (We live next to the Tongue River) They were quickly followed by more grasshoppers than I have ever seen in a lifetime. Let me tell you that every thing that was green and growing was eaten. The next winter was mild and dry. No rain in the spring. We had wildfires surrounded the school and the town. It burned to within 300 feet of my back door. Couldn’t get out of town because the fire was so hot it melted the road going east and west. Last year we had an early snow melt on the creek which took out our bridge and in 24 hours totally filled all the area within my vision range. People were canoeing down the slough but right in front of our house the had to get out and carry the canoe over the high ground (about 3 feet) and then could get back in the canoe. My neighbor across the road put a sign at the end of his driveway that said “no fishing” Someday I will tell you the story of replacing the bridge. (a lot of common sense ingenuity here). This past winter we were just cold. Below zero most of the winter. You know that once you get below zero it is just cold.

Well, I hope to hear from some of my old friends. Love you all. I promise I am back. My heart feels light and free again. Namaste

Well, I am totally beat.  I do not understand Facebook.  I like email or better yet, writing letters.  When I want to talk with someone, facebook just doesn’t make it.  I think I am getting old here.  I used to love to write.  Let all my fears and joys and pain out for the world, or whoever was reading, see and judge.  The whole writing and sharing experience helped me work through so much “stuff” but I don’t need it as much now. 

Taken from a blog by Cecile Az, Journalist, this is an ancient Anglo Saxon festiveal for the Great Mother Nerthus or Frau Gode.  (I need to look this up).  She is the Mother Earth of the North and symbolized fertility, peacy and family harmony.  The traditions were gradually adapted to celebrations of Christmas.

This was taken from “The School of the Seasons”:  The Mothers – the night of the Mothers was a sacred night devoted to a group of feminine divinities like those pictured on carvings and statues all over Celtic France & Britain which show three women together holding children and fruit, fish, grain and other boutines of the earth.

This was a time when dead ancesters are paid tribute to. 

Germanic/Scandinavian & Anglo-Saxon annual commemoration, an Odinist Midwinter festival held approimately on December 24.  Motherhood was celebrated on this night; also dreams this night fortold events of the coming year.  Evergree trees decorated on this night represent the Tree of Life or Yggdrasil (World Tree).

In celebrating the Winter Solstice — the return of the sun — you would probably want to have a special night to honor the Great Mother — or all mothers — through whom the great rebirth occurs.  Have you experienced the darkest night of the year (and perhaps of the soul) and then been touched by the warmth of the sun within and without.  Rebirth.   

 Great Mother Nerthus drives a chariot drawn by cows and from Advent to Epiphany, she flies over Germany, Bavaria, Tyrol and Eastern Switzerland with a bag of hail and lighted christmas wand with the fairey host who cling to her black cape of fog, snow and wind.  Sounds like the correct time of year with the perfect weather.  This was taken from Christine O’Keefe’s Monster/Faery Page.

What is best for Native American cultures at this point?  This type of decision should come from within the tribes.  Outsiders can only wish ideas upon them.  What is a tribe or individually wanting to do?  Do they want to be a part of the larger society or do they want to withdraw into their own areas as sovereign nations. 

I believe that a person/tribe can maintain traditional ways of being as well as living with in the modern technological environment.  Who wants to give up the modern conveniences that we have gotten used to and rely upon.  However, does modernization own us or do we make use of it in thoughtful ways?  Do we show others by the way we incorporate our traditions and beliefs into our daily life, that which is good that everyone can share in?

Lost my train of thought.  I will be back to this soon.

We have been in Montana for 8 months now and my life that was once scrambled is falling into place piece by piece.  This is such a small community that we live in.  The spaces are truly wide open and the sky is magnificent to contemplate.  I don’t have the tension around me nor in me and I am free to just breathe.  I enjoy watching the horses behind our house.  There are two ponies and they stick very close to their mothers.  What a joy to watch their ears perk and have them trot after something that has caught their interests.  There is always a bird or two sitting on the fence out back.  It is just amazing to be able to be so close to them.  The mosquitos were terrible this summer but they made great meals for the flycatchers.  Then along came the grasshoppers that are enjoing my Irises and the grackles are enjoying them.  My favorite site this year was waking up to see a neighbor’s cow in my front yard rubbing up against one of our trees.  We didn’t get an air conditioner this year and yet we made it through the summer.  I think we will get a small window air conditioner for the bedroom for next summer, though.  The nights are beginning to be a steady 55 degrees which makes the beginning part of the day nice and brisk.  It warms up after lunch until about supper time and then begins the cool down again.  Not so bad.  We tried growing tomatoes but OT mowed them down accidentally.  Just as well, it was difficult fighting the mosquitos.  And by now the grasshoppers would have eaten all the greenery.  Must be why there aren’t alot of vegetable gardens here.  I have to admit I am looking forward to what the fall brings.  The mountains and hills have a different look each season.  Think I will be ready for winter this year.  We certainly survived last year and we didn’t know anything.  I am stocking in mystery books to read once the weather turns cooler.  It is hard to concerntrate when it is hot.  I am planning to get back into studying my tarot.  I feel a bit lost with out some kind of spiritual direction.  I do not like to be directed but I love having myself challenged.  Mocha has decided to give me room to finish typing and I have run out of things to say.  Will be back another time.  Aho!

Well, I have made a big leap of faith.  We have moved from Atlanta GA (home of 6 million people) to Ashland MT (home of my sister and about 450 other dear souls).  What a truly beautiful state.  We left Atlanta on November 15th and drove into Ashland on the 18th.  I was pleasantly surprised by the beauty of each state that we passed through.  My sister owns a restaurant/bar in Ashland and we came here to help her run it.  Ashland is located in the the southeast corner of Montana near Billings.  A Cheyenne Indian Reservation is next to Ashland along with the Crow Reservation.  Our little town has a post office, bank, community health clinic, a sheriff, 2 small general stores, a hardware store, a high school, 3 bars and St LaBrae School.  The people in our little community are so varied and the stories that they tell are wild and funny.  I really do love it here.   

Got to go for now.  Just wanted to check in.  Love zera

I can’t believe that I have been awake all night.  Can’t sleep.  Too much on my mind.  Husband and I are moving to Montana.  I am leaving my daughter and son-in-law in Georgia.  Will miss her tremendously.  However, she will be going to med school next fall and will be very busy with the next stage of her life.  OT and I will be making another big change/move in our lives.  We are planning to help run a restaurant for my sister.  It is a small restaurant in a small town but it seems to be just the right speed for us.

We have lived in Washington and Oregon and loved the environment.  After spending 24 years in Atlanta, I believe that moving to a town of 400 people should be a real culture shock.  Am definitely looking forward to it.  I’ll let you know how it goes. 

I spent a long time conversing with my upstairs neighbor and discovered that we have alot in common.  Wish we had taken the time to get better acquainted a year ago.  I believe that we will keep in touch via email.  It is a great feeling to run into a kindred spirit.

Maybe I can go to sleep now.  Namaste.  zera

Hey!  How is everyone.  I just found my old friend Anoka on line.  Guess now I need to look up all my other dear friends and perhaps spend some time renewing olf friendships.

Last blog I stated that I was fired without casue while I was out on disability.  Well, the EEOC has taken my suit and is setting up a date for arbitration.  Never thought I would sue anybody.  But being fired for no reason is not fair. 

My daughter is applying to various medical schools and completing a ton of applications.  She will be off on her new adventure next fall (2011).

OT and I are moving to Ashland, Montana.  Bet that is a surprise.  When we moved from Oregon to Atlanta GA 24 years ago, I was in total culture shock for quite a few years.  There were just too many people.  Well, today there are still too many people (abt 6,000,000) and I long for open space and practically no people nearby.  Will keep you informed about the changes.

I wanted to make this note to myself from one of my notebooks that I am throwing out.  It is just a bit of information on Mothers Day.

The original Mother’s Day proclamation was written by Julia Ward Howe in 1870.  It was a call to gather the women of all nationalities together to bring peace to humanity.  “If ever there is a time when the women of the world come together purely and simply for the benefit of (hu)mankind, it will be a force such as the world has ever seen.”  — Matthew Arnold.

I am waiting for this coming together.  I believe our country and the world needs peace.

This is the first time in years that my muses are inspiring me.  There is so much to tell you to bring you up to date.  Let us start with the very recent and see where that goes.

On April 1st (yes, April Fools Day which is very appropriate for me) I had a mechanical mitral valve replace my poor old valve damaged in childhood.  I had been struggling with my heart going into A-fib and trouble breathing.  In the past year, I had to have my heart “shocked” back into rhythm 3 times.  Cardiologist felt the time had come for the operation.  My surgeon replaced the valve robotically by going between my ribs.  Incredible.  The healing time is so much shorter than having to have your chest cavity opened.  I can hear my little valve ticking away when all is quite.  Very comforting. 

About a month into healing I had to go back into the hospital because I had become so anemic that I developed heart failure.  My lungs and heart area were filling with fluid.  Back to the hospital where I was given 2 units of blood and a lot of Lasix for the extra fluid.  I dropped 25 pounds in less than 24 hours and felt great but a little weak.  Since then I have been going to Cardio Rehab 2 x week and am getting stronger every day.  Yippee!

I am on short term disability.   The other day I got a call from my manager who asked me to come in and pick up a bonus check.  Hmmmm!  Yep, I was fired without cause.  My position was eliminated.  I am going to retire and find a part time job.  I have worked since I was 17 years old and that was quite a while ago.  I’m not quite 65 for medicare but I am still retiring.  Hope Medicare is around when I need it.

Thought about moving to Costa Rica and got really excited.  Fortunately I didn’t just pack up immediately.  I don’t think I am ready for that big of a move.  However, things are changing.  Creator has brought me this far in life and I have faith.