June 5, 2005

• OT and I went for a walk in a local park.  It is a wonderful wetland experience just outside of a large mall complex.  The majority of the paths are either wooden or cement so that all kinds of people may use the pathways.  There is a wonderful creek that flows through with wetlands.  I had the most incredible feeling of sorrow while walking the paths.  When I was very young I would walk into the forest that surrounded our home and lose myself for hours.  I can't tell you what I thought, saw or felt.  I was at one with everything.  I can only remember up to the time I walked into my favorite spot near the creek and nothing else until I was home for supper.  My sadness comes from my inability to be at one as a child with all things.  I walk among the trees and near the water and can see them and smell them and know that I am alive but I can not make the ultimate step into at oneness.  And what I realize that one of these days in the near future, I will be at one again with all things and then . . . . . well, there will be no coming back.  No waking up each morning and remaking myself to experience the world.  Life is so short and the realization of its beauty comes so late in life.  Thank Creator I have at least been made aware of life's beauty.  Namaste.  zera

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