Thankyou dear swordlady for the positive affirmation.  It must have helped me let go.  I feel terrific today.  It is Christmas Eve and I have spent most of the day indoors doing laundry, watching tv and enjoying myself.  It really doesn't matter what you believe in.  Celebrations follow the seasons of the year.  The sun moves around the universe bringing our little group of planets with it and the moon does its thing every month.  I only need to relax and allow the inner peace to grow and allow myself to experience the incredible beauty of all creation.  It is good to be made aware that you just might be afraid to think outside the box.  However, if you built the box you can unbuild it.  I have the rest of my life to do the best I can at eliminating my walls.

This Christmas eve, I wish you all the blessings of Creation and the Joy and Love of the Creator.

Sometimes I think that I do too much reading and not enough experiencing of life.  I have been researching the history of Christianity and have discovered that many (very many) bible passages were taken from older passages from pagan religions.  That a good bit of what I have been taught over the years has been lies and fabrications.  Wow!  However, I still believe in a Creatrix/Creator and have had experiences of the presence of a greater spiritual being.  I must be behind the times though.  Many people in may age group already knew this and have moved on.  Guess I need to get over the shock and move on as well.  It doesn't change my life but it sure gets rid of a lot of guilt.

Happy holidays my dear friends.  Wish me well for the new year.  You never know what I will discover next in books.

Hello my dear friends.  I am beginning a study of Feminine mysticism.  I have a terrific book that I have begun reading and doing research on the internet.  Time to step out of my life for times of quiet and reflection.  Plan to participate more fully in my spiritual path.  I will share with you along the way. 

Life is good.    Money is short but just fits around our expenses.  My daughter is in her second year of college and still on the dean's list.  Her dear boyfriend/partner is still living with us.  Has a great construction job and is a wonderful human being to have around.  Husband is hoping to take an early retirement next year.  He has had enough of all the silliness and I totally support him.  I would like to keep him around for a while longer.

I have a great job working with some old friends of mine in the insurance industry.  I have left corporate america behind and shook the dust from my feet.  It is now time to aim for a little direction in life instead of bouncing from one thing to another.

Hope to hear from everyone.  Love to you all.  zera

I admire all my friends here at Xanga.  What a wonderful group of human beings you are.  You are always there even when I tend to wander away.  And such great storytellers.  I fell like I am never alone.  My prayers and good thoughts go out to each of you even if I am not physically here on the website.  I love you all.

My Megs is getting ready to go for her second year of college.  She is closing in on what she eventually wants to do with her life.  For now she will complete her nurses training so that she can get a good paying nursing job.  Then she will continue her education to become a psychologist and hopefully a forensic psych.

She has grown into such a loving young woman.  Momma is very proud of her.

Didn't do any gardening this year.  Now it is way too hot outside to do anything more than water my plants.

Chris finally got a terrific job with a large construction company and will have work for a long time with benefits and the opportunity for advancement.  Our money difficulties are almost gone.

Owen is still planning to retire in less than two years.  He is planning to work part time as a Bellman at the hotel and will be able to get tips that won't have to be tracked for taxes.  Yipee!

Well, that is all the news that is fit to print.  Don't forget me my dear friends.  I would be lost without you.

Namaste.  zera

I love Maxine.  She is the grumpiest and funniest old lady I know.  A friend sent me a bunch of cartoons but I forgot to save them in the proper manner so that I could print them here.  Apologies to all who received the big blog with nothing on it.  

Good friends are like stars. You don't always  see them but you always know they are  there 

An experience that let me know how really unimportant I am in the scheme of things.

I have a dear cousin who has a brain tumor that is inoperable.  I haven't seen T in many many years but we were so close when we were children.  I wrote him a short letter asking for his to reply so that we might at least keep up with each at the end of our lives.  Well, I haven't heard from him yet.  That is not the experience, though.

His brother (younger) lives about 20 miles from my apartment and I called him to say hello and ask about T.  What a shock I had.  I had left him a voice message asking him to call me and letting him know who I was and where I lived.  I called him later in the evening and asked him if he knew who I was.  Guess what?  He said no is such a flat voice that I was concerned that he wasn't who I thought he was.  I told him exactly how we were related and how T and I used to give the younger ones such a hard time when we would play.  Thought it would get a good laugh.  All I got was silence.   Hmmm!  Well, then I asked about T.  He said that the last he heard T was in remission and that was back in February.  Whoa!  This sounds like a really close knit bunch.  Well, I thanked him for the information and said goodbye. 

I was a bit crushed.  How could someone that I cared about and played with as a child not remember me.  My god, aren't I the center of the universe?  Guess not his universe.  Well, it was a bit humbling and it was a great lesson.

I am just a speck of Light in a great Universe of Lights.  Comforting on a spiritual plane but ego deflating on the Earth plane.

Remember me my friends as I struggle to remember each of you with love and blessings. zera

I believe I have immersed myself to much in the pleasures of earth.  I absolutely love watching tv.  We have cable so I am able to watch a wide variety of programming that does not include any of the new comedy programs.  I have expanded my interests from the crime shows (mostly reruns) to include the Food Channel, the weekly Hell's Kitchen with Gordon Ramsey, Ghost Hunters, Dog the Bounty Hunter and So You Think You can Dance.  On weekends I love to watch the movies.  Unfortunately, one of my Tarot cards directed me to sacrifice my pleasures for some austerity in order to get back in touch with my inner Knowing.  Hmmm!  Tough call!  On the one hand (the right hand that holds the tv clicker) we have the power to avoid daily life by immersing oneself in pleasurable unreality and on the other hand we have the call from the Self to listen to It once in a while.  Hmmm!  Tough call!  Haven't figured out what to do yet.  Perhaps I can cut back on tv and spend some regular time on meditating and praying.  Hmmm!  Will let you know how this works out.

Namaste.  zera

"I lived in solitude in the country and noticed how the monotony of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind"

I received this prayer in an email from an old friend of mine.  The author of the prayer is St. Theresa of the Little Ways.  It was sent with the request to pass it on to 12 other people after you make a wish.  Well, I really love the prayer but I do not pass anything on to anyone.  Instead I will post it hear for all to read.

"May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly where
you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born
of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love
that has been given to you. May you be content knowing you are a child of
God.... Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the
freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of
us. "

Blessings.   zera

I heard today that a doctor stated that just about everyone who has a career is also taking some form of psychotropic drug.  The stress in peoples' lives has become so great.   I take Effexor and have done so for several years.  It certainly doesn't make everything beautiful but I am calmer and more able to control my emotions. 

Why have we allowed our world to get so crazy?  Money and the need for money exhausts us. 

Learning to live more simply is very needful.  Happiness does not come from making more money and having more things.  Happiness comes from deep in the soul where one is free and open to experience this incredibly beautiful world and the many wondrous beings that populate it.

May the Creator grant me a full rich and loving day.  Namaste.  zera