I am like totally overwhelmed with the changes to Xanga.  I have been away too long.  Imagine a chatboard.  Hmmm!  I need to get back in to the swing of things here.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

zera

According to an article I read this morning, Gnostics believe in the "primacy of intellect over faith."  I believe that we must have faith in that which cannot be proven by science.  This means that I believe God exists and that he/she is perfect and that he/she is pure Love and Intellect and Spirit.  I believe that intellect should be used to enhance your faith.  There are experiences we have in our lifetime that cannot be explained or proven in any scientific way, but we Know deep inside that we have come in contact with Truth.  No one can take these experiences from you and they become the building blocks of your spiritual life. 

In my experiences I have been embraced by the Comfort and Love of God.  I know he/she exists and loves me.  I have learned that I am unwilling to let go of what ever imaginary control I believe I have in my life.  In actuality, I have no control other than to be thankful and accepting or ungrateful and negative.  I have also discovered that I need to follow my path alone.  This means that I should not JOIN any groups.  I am willing to accept wisdom from wherever but I need to be strong enough to walk my path with my Creator without looking around for reassurance from others.

So am I a Gnostic?  Not 100%.  I believe that faith and intellect must work together.  I am still very Eclectic in my beliefs.  I am somewhat Pagan because of my love for Mother Earth.  The Pagan in me embraces Wicca and the Goddess.  I am Christian because I follow the path of the Christ.   I am a human being.  I believe that God created us all and therefore, cannot play favorites.

Now I have to get to work.  I believe my boss would not appreciate me playing on the computer all morning.

Blessings.   zera

Wow!  I can't believe my last post was January.  This has been a very quiet year for me.  I changed jobs last September and have been blessed with the opportunity for much reflection on my life.  I actually work for and with people who like me just as I am.  Total acceptance.  This has caused me to begin the process of total acceptance of my self again but on a deeper level. 

It is amazing how much drama/trauma I have allowed in my life.  I feel that I am getting too old to be so uptight about life.  Am beginning to feel the analogy of life being like a river that flows until it reaches a greater body of water.  Hmmm!  I was just thinking how the water in the river mixes with the water in Lake or the Ocean and then evaporates.  Those molecules then react in the air and return to earth as rain.  It is a circle.  The rain creates the rivulets that become streams that flow to the river and so on.  The interesting thing is that it is once more the river but not the exact same river.  STOP!  I am getting a little far out hear.  You get my point. 

I am moving along my path in life and attempting to savor each moment to its fullest.  Not always successful but am always thankful for one more second to be on this beautiful earth.

Who knows what the next second will bring.  So enjoy the NOW!  Blessings.  zera

I wrote a letter for Christmas to my friends but I haven't sent it as yet.  This is so typically me.  Anyway, I want to thank some of my dear friends for their kind remarks and support.  Having lived almost 58 years I can say that my bag of experience is filled to overflowing with good friends, love, kindness and sins.  And what better time than Christmas to pull them out and offer them up to the Creator.  I have lived the best I could and pray that my awareness in the coming year will expand to include those lessons I missed in 2005.  I pray that each of my dear friends is blessed this coming year with good health and much happiness.

So now you get my annual end of the year letter that  have not as yet mailed.

Here I sit in front of my computer at work trying to put together a letter to send to you to make up for all the conversations we did not have this past year.  There was a time when I swore I would never do this to anyone but, alas, I am only human.  And the older I get the faster Life just runs by me.

I hope you have had a beautiful Christmas.  We had a very fund and loving time again this year thanks to Meagan.  We were not able to visit family in Richmond again this holiday season and we missed them terribly.  We all decided to begin saving money now so that we can go to Richmond over the summer in 2006.

Meagan's boyfriend is still living with us.  He has been with us now for 2 years.  Chris is such a nice young man and I love him like a son.  We moved into a three bedroom townhouse this past fall in order to give him his own room.  He called our tiny den his bedroom in our old apartment.

Meagan completed her first year at college and has a 3.8 grade point average.  She is still surprised that she got a B in Math since she was positive that she was going to fail it.  Math is not in our genes.  She has been working at two different restaurants as a waitress over Christmas.  She wanted to make sure that her family and friends had plenty of presents.  She has a big heart.

Megs plans on getting a Nursing degree and then joining the Air Force as an officer.  from there she will continue her education.  Her hope is to be a Psychiatric Nurse or a Psychologist.  Her long term goal is to work in Forensics.

Chris is working on completing his high school through the American School like Megs did.  He is not all that excited about school.  He is a man who loves to work with his hands  and is working in construction and loves it.  He is a country boy at heart.  He puts his money into the rent and expenses and has been very responsible.  I am really glad he lives with us.

Owen was promoted to a supervisory position in Purchasing and is learning the fine art of delegating even though you can do the job yourself.  He has been working for the OMNI Hotel for 8 years and they have been very good to him.

Owen and I celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary.  Who would have thought it would have lasted this long.  We are a pair.  Megan turned 19 in June and is halfway to 20 by now. 

I finally jumped over my fear of changing jobs.  I began selling Avon in the spring and was very successful at it.  That experience gave me the confidence to change jobs.  I am now working for people who have known me for years and still wanted me to come work for them.  I love working at PAS (insurance brokers) and each of the people are delightful.

Our family has grown from 2 to 4 cats this year.  Owen said if I bring one more cat into the house he will leave.  Hmmmmmm!  Well, I will try extra specially hard not to fall in love with another stray cat.  Mocha, our oldest cat and a Siamese, has accepted the two new ones but Sweetie, the second oldest and a medium haired tuxedo marked cat, hates them all (including Mocha).  I believe she may be going through the change of life.  Hee!  Hee!  Cleo is the baby and a big Tabby.  Sam is a Tonganese and is the newest member.  They are all so unique and precious, I could not see living without them.

I will be 58 in January.  Amazing that I have lived so long.  With some good luck and a little work on dieting and exercise I may live a few more years.

By the way if you haven't read the DaVinci Code, give it a try.  You will be surprised at the tidbits about the Divine Feminine, the Holy Grail and the Age of Aquarius.

May this coming year bring Joy, Love and Laughter into your life.  I pray that we are all here next year to share stories of our lives.

Love,    zera

Christmas is such a difficult time of the year for me.  I arrive unprepared every year without fail.  Here I am once more with my sin bag filled to overflowing.  Perhaps this year I will be able to accept the gift of forgiveness and renewal that is always offered and I am so unwilling to accept.  My attitude has hurt and alienated those that I love the most.  I am getting too old to drag this bag around much longer.  I have been foolish, obstinate and arrogant and this year I pray for the gift of forgiveness and the humbleness to receive and be free.  . 

"The most universal thing is hope, for hope stays with those who have nothing else."                                    ~ Epictetus

Well, it has been a long time in coming but I have finally found a job that I truly enjoy.  Why?  Because the people are very fine.  I knew three of them for many years and they hired very kind natured people to work with them.  Now, they have me.  Yipee!  I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death and fought evil on all sides to finally arrive at the promised land. 

I quit the health care company last week.  It was quite a joy to turn in my resignation.  When asked by the RVP if there was anything he could do to keep me, I simply said no.  Of course, I then had to overdo it and explained that I had worked with one young man at a broker's office; I was almost hired by the second young man when he worked as VP at a competing managed care company; and thirdly, I actually did work for the other gentleman (not as young as the other two).  Yes, I guess I did a little nose rubbing.  I said a lot of goodbyes to many of the 150 employees.  I will miss most folks.  They are good hardworking therapists who have really tough jobs.  I enjoyed out jokes and chats.  It helped brighten every day. 

My new employer has asked me to be the Office Manager.  Wow!  They have great faith in me.  Everyone is truly nice.  I will have to give up my swearing -- it was due for some adjustment anyway.  I have done the work before but need some brush up on their system of running quotes, etc.  I'm looking forward to this new adventure, 

When my friends offered me this job, it was as though someone turned on the light in my heart.  I didn't realize how beaten down I felt at my old job.  Well, I learned a good deal about life and about myself there and it was time to move on. 

The Fool once more steps off the cliff with head held high knowing the power of creation is moving me onward.

Blessings.  zera

It is difficult to type when you are holding a cat.

Life is a festival only to the wise.
      ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You can measure a man by the opposition it takes to discourage him."
  -- Robert C. Savage

Human kindness shines like blazing torches. Kindness is an act of mercy given away responsibly by a person who has every right to express wrath.
      Alwyn Pereira, church-based youth leader

We all belong to one human family.
      Irene, rescuer of Jews during World War II.

My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.
      Tenzin Gyatso (b. 1935) The Tibetan Buddhist philosophical leader

Every child is an artist; the problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.
      Pablo Picasso (b. 1881) Spanish artist

The voyage of discovery lies not in finding new landscapes but in having new eyes.
      Marcel Proust (b. 1871) French writer

Creativity belongs to the artist in each of us. To create means to relate. The root meaning of the word art is "to fit together" and we all do this every day. Not all of us are painters but we are all artists. Each time we fit things together we are creating - whether it is to make a loaf of bread, a child, a day.
      Corita Kent (b. 1918) American muralist

Thoughts from a friend:

1.  I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most
people die of natural causes.

Does that mean I would die of unnatural causes if I ate unnatural food and what is unnatural food anyway?  I believe with all the chemicals I have put into my body knowingly and unknowingly, I doubt that I will  need to be embalmed.  Speaking of which, I will  not need to be embalmed anyway, I am going to be cremated.  I plan to have my favorite recliner chair cremated with me.  This is my way of "taking something with me!"  Catch you on the other side.  Bring your own chair.

2.  Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out
of the ground easily, it is a valuable  plant.

Many years ago when I was a novice in the "religious/spiritual" group that I joined, I had to week the garden out back of the house in Boston.  Well, guess who could not tell the difference between a weed and a flower?  Flowers are supposed to do just that -- flower.  The Novice Master had a hard time believing anyone could be so stupid.  Guess he still had a lot to learn in life too.

3.  The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to
buy a replacement.

I do this all the time.  My husband stopped me from buying popcorn the other day.  When we got home, he showed me the three boxes I had stored in the closet.  Well, you just never know when you will have an incredible craving for popcorn.  I do this same thing with batteries.  I can never remember where I put them until I buy a new set and put them in the same place as the ones I was looking for but forgot where I stored them.  Are you confused.  Well, you can see how confused I can be.

4.  Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

I tell this to people all the time.  When you stop and really look at what is happening around us, how in the world can you take it all seriously.  Learn to laugh.  Yes, bad things do happen.  But other than disasters both natural and unnatural (see a pattern here?), life is pretty funny.  It just happens and you have to learn to deal with it.  You can't control it.  You can, however, control your reactions and responses.


5.  There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

I have been taking public transportation for close to 20 years.  The above statement is true.  I do not run for the bus, another bus will come along shortly.  Dashing across streets to get to the other side is not my style anymore.  I use my eyes and my brain to observe traffic conditions and then stroll at a leisurely pace.  Remember that he who hesitates may have to wait another 5 minutes to get across the street.  Once off the morning bus at 7:15 a.m., my fellow travelers wait for the "little old white lady" (me) to determine the safety of crossing the highway.   I have learned how to sense  what cars to walk in front of.  If you misjudge, you are going to have a good deal of horn blowing and gesturing, etc.  I have never had that happen.  I can tell when a car will slow to let me get across and who would rather run me down than take a second out of their rush to work.  Maybe I could start a school for pedestrians.  

Don't you ever just wonder about things?  Well, I do.  And I am wandering away right now. I'll try not to get lost.  Have a great day.  zera