Have you ever wanted to write something so badly but it just wouldn't come out?  The beginning is somewhere deep inside and is hiding behind the ending and neither will show their faces until I have lived the middle. 

It just started raining.  Such a peaceful and soft rain.  This is a rain that could last all day.  After yesterday's picnic in the park and all the sneezing that was happening around me, I believe the air was ready to be cleaned.  Most people are depressed by rain but I'm not.  Just look how the grass and flowers begin to stand up straight and spread their petals and leaves to be cleansed and renewed by the rain.  Even the birds are enjoying their bath for I hear them singing away in the trees. 

Cleo is sitting by the screen waiting and watching for the next birds to come to the feeders on the potion.  Sweetie is back another foot laying out on her back comfortably but her eyes are ever alert.  Mocha is hiding in the cat house.  The birds are safe and so are the cats.

I love the mornings because I am the only person up in the apartment.  Time to myself and my thoughts. 

Yesterday I got up bright and early to go to the park along the river in order to hold a pavilion for the company picnic.  It seems that the day we picked for our picnic was also a day two other groups chose the same park for their family reunions.  I sat for over an hour by myself.  It was so peaceful and beautiful with the mist on the river and a cool breeze blowing.  Then at 8 a.m. two people pull up and dramatically walk to my pavilion carrying a banner that read the XXXXXX family reunion.  He begins putting up his banner.  Well!  I walked over to him and stated that I had the pavilion being there first.  He, of course, stated that he reserved the pavilion.  And I, armed with knowledge, informed him that he was mistaken because you cannot reserve the pavilions - first come, first served.  So, he begins to explain that this reunion is scheduled every two years and he was timing the event around his deployment.  DAMN!  How could I turn him away.  I made a deal that we would share the pavilion 50/50.  We usually have so few people attend the picnic anyway. 

Things got better after that.  A woman came up to the pavilion and asked if we were using it.  Well, yes!  She was having a family reunion as well.  Couldn't help them with the pavilion but I encouraged them with the space of tables they did choose.  It was actually a lot of fun.  Very crowded small park.  Very crowded pavilion.  Lots of food.  Good music.  I left at 1:30 p.m.  I was worn out being sociable.  We had about 60 people including children in our group.  The XXXX family had a good hundred.  The YYYY family had another 80 at least.  Then there were the usually Saturday visitors to the park who were made because there were no parking spaces for anyone.  We had this huge catering van where the food was cooked on board and took up 10 good parking spaces.  I talked to one BIG Roswell Park policeman who finally backed down about me holding spaces for the trailer that was coming.  And the Roswell city policeman was very cool.  We invited him back for food.  The man with the Russian accent who was bringing his son to the park was a bit testy with me but he saw an empty available parking space and backed down.  Yes, I was tired by 1:30 p.m.  Too much fun!  By the way, I was made an honorary member of the XXXX family for the day.

Well, as you can see I am a bit of a pushover when people are nice.  I am real determined when someone gives me a hard time.  I know how to fight!  I do wonder if the tables were turned if the XXXX family would have shared their space with me.  Just off the top of my head I guess I would say no. 

I think this was the last year for the park along the Chattahoochee.  Okay with me.  I really do not like to get up that early to sit and hold a pavilion.  I prefer being up early to hang on the inter net.

Well, got to run.  There is a squirrel on the balcony.  He seems to be very territorial here.  Just chased another squirrel away from the area.  My three cats are very interested.

Bye for now.   zera

Good morning.  I finally have an opportunity to sit and visit all my Xanga friends and hopefully make some new ones.  Xanga has really grown and so have all the journalists.  Isn't this an incredible place to share your our stories.  We have spent some very close and personal in your face kind of times with each other that included anger, worry, fear, laughter, joy and lots of love.  I wouldn't trade any of my experiences here for anything in the world.  As I have heard many of us say at different points in our life paths, thank you for being here, for listening, care and sharing.  These are the things that have helped me make it to my 57 and 1/2 year birthday.  Hee!  Hee!  I look forward to the next 57 and 1/2 to be much happier because of all my dear friends -- kindred spirits -- who share this spiritual experience called living on earth.  Many blessings to each and everyone.

The house is quite except for the stupid movie I have playing on the tv.  Mocha kitty is biting my ankle.  He wants love and attention.  He and I are getting old together but I don't bite him.  Silly kitty. 

When I do alot of reading and commenting at sites, I don't have much to say here.  So, other than keep up the great writing everyone, I will leave you all to read some more.  Namaste.  zera

Let me suggest that you give Tarot.com a try.  My favorite thing to do is to pull three cards at random and get a reading.  You really do not have to ask a question.  The cards you pull will be very relevant to you and where you are right now.  Honest.  I have never had the Tarot let me down.  Try it!  You might like it.

Here's a great site I thought you should know about: http://www.GreenNewsletters.com
You can learn about and sign up for the best free environmental newsletters.
Enjoy!

Andy while I am thinking about it, don't forget to visit me at Avon http://www.youravon.com/emerwin.

OT and I went for a walk in a local park.  It is a wonderful wetland experience just outside of a large mall complex.  The majority of the paths are either wooden or cement so that all kinds of people may use the pathways.  There is a wonderful creek that flows through with wetlands.  I had the most incredible feeling of sorrow while walking the paths.  When I was very young I would walk into the forest that surrounded our home and lose myself for hours.  I can't tell you what I thought, saw or felt.  I was at one with everything.  I can only remember up to the time I walked into my favorite spot near the creek and nothing else until I was home for supper.  My sadness comes from my inability to be at one as a child with all things.  I walk among the trees and near the water and can see them and smell them and know that I am alive but I can not make the ultimate step into at oneness.  And what I realize that one of these days in the near future, I will be at one again with all things and then . . . . . well, there will be no coming back.  No waking up each morning and remaking myself to experience the world.  Life is so short and the realization of its beauty comes so late in life.  Thank Creator I have at least been made aware of life's beauty.  Namaste.  zera

The world changed and forgot to tell me.  Of course, I was too deeply involved in my own little world to notice.  The sad part is that I did not get a chance to express my opinion about the change until it was too late.  Now, I am spending a great deal of time playing catch up.

Corporations are so afraid of being sued that they have created a machine where people must fit into their various cogs or else leave. 

In order to fit into the great oiled machine, you must be willing to fit exactly which allows for you to come to work on time and leave exactly on time with two 15 minute breaks and a half hour lunch -- do not be 1 minute late or else.  How does the machine know you are not working?  Well, you have to clock in and out on your telephone, of course. 

Speaking of telephones, you can be listened to and recorded randomly.  This under the guise of checking proper customer service but really checking that you are only doing business on the business-owned phone.  Sounds fair, right?  No!  It is a total violation -- where is the trust.  Where is the give and take of life that allows someone to make a quick call to a doctor's office or home to check on the children?  Where is the option for a really good employee to make a short personal call when not busy.  This rule was obviously created because there are people who will abuse anything. 

So, how does the worker retaliate and yes, even the meekest among us will retaliate in an attempt to hold their head erect.  Well, they bring cell phones to work and make personal calls on their personal phones.  Needless, tedious and noisy.  Instead of striking fear into the heart of the "cog,"  the cog has found a way around the silly rule.

What happened to the sense of privacy?  When working in cube clusters, you must develop a sense of aloneness.  You think of yourself being surrounded by protective walls and you are safe to do your day's work.  The noise from the other cubes becomes a soft hum in the background.  Then out of nowhere the supervisor's voice breaks the sanctity of your little work-world and says "lower your voice."  Egad!  The sense of safeness has been shattered and not just the person who may be talking too loud but for everyone who could here the "Shush!"  You are immediately thrown into the realm of helplessness.  Your mind shrieks "was it me?  who was it that caused the walls of your illusion to shatter?  Heart races and palms sweat.  Is this being noted in the ominous computer?  How many more "shushes" can you receive before you are WRITTEN UP!  Force yourself further into that box.  Mustn't get written up again.  Could get fired.  Adapt.  Make yourself fit.  After all, you are just a cog in the wheel and the wheel has spoken. 

Does this sound like an old science fiction story that you read in your youth?  Well, the future is here and it isn't pretty. 

Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen.  Help support my new business, if you can, by going to http://www.youravon.com/emerwin and perhaps buying something.  If you haven't seen avon products lately, you are in for a real treat.  Thanks for your support.

zera

I am now an Avon Representative.  If any one wants to go on line and order products from Avon.com and you do not have a representative, let me know at my email address ( edie_avon@att.net  or zera1948@att.net ) and I will give you my telephone number to put on the computerized order form.  I make a small bit of change and I will be glad to let know via email or Xanga about upcoming specials.

Avon is great.  If you haven't seen their recent catalogues, you must go to the website.  They sell so many different items besides make-up.  They do NOT do any animal testing on their products.  Also, I learned that the company was started in the 1800s by a man but he had women selling to women before we even had the right to vote.  Women's lib. 

Anyway, in this day and age everyone needs to make a little extra money and this is a great way for me to do it.  Anyone who uses the products and does not have an avon representative, let me be your representative.  Or if you want to try your hand at selling a product that everyone knows, let me sign you up for only $10.  There is not minimum purchase etc.  You get your sales packet/free starter kit and training on line.  There are lots of people higher up on the chain that are ready to help you with selling, etc.

So, that is my sales pitch for the day. 

May you have a blessed Memorial Weekend.  zera

Our psychologists were able to confirm what palmists have known for centuries: the lines in your palm reveal many things about you — including details about your future.

Your palm shows you are a very warm and compassionate person. You give your affection freely to friends and family that you care about most.

---

I pretty much consider everyone my friend and am very open and loving to just about everyone.  However, not everyone is accepting of such friendship.  Gets me in trouble all the time.  I believe that I am still living in my 60s ideology where everyone loves and accepts everyone else.  This area of my thinking needs to be cleaned of dust and cobwebs.  Doesn't work any more.  You may feel open, accepting and loving of everyone but you have to remember that other people are not in the same space and be aware of their boundaries.  Makes sense, right?  Well, others may be totally offended and even frightened of people who are wide open  to the world.  So, I have to shut the doors and leave only the peephole open for the light to shine through.  This means that a lot of good thoughts and prayers occur in silence and in secret.  Political correctness impinges on the outward expression of spiritual caring but the work of the spirit is always done on the inside and quitely anyway.  Love.  zera