I had a thought about the weaknesses of our personality.  How easy it seems for us to look at another and rattle off all their faults and weaknesses.  Then I drifted off to the thought that these personality behaviors are the good things in our lives that keep us growing.  Sorry!  I waited too long to write about my revelation this morning and it is fading.  Just as well because I was planning on sharing this with a fried at work and I thought could use the revelation.  Ego!  Gets me lost all the time.

Anyway, "Ye must be born again."  The Christian concept of being born again is asking forgiveness for your sins and being baptized.  Then you are urged to "To forth and sin no more."  Wow!  That is very tough to do.  In the Order we were told to "live to our highest knowing."  That means to me that if you do something that you know is wrong then you have sinned.  You are responsible for living every moment consciously aware of what you think, say and do.  No slacking!  And "sins" are always forgive but thanks to karma, you will be challenged with another opportunity to test your strength to do or think or say what is correct in a similar situation. 

Anyway, our personal weaknesses are our challenges and opportunities to live to our highest knowing.  For example I know I am a negative person so I try to be pleasant and look at the bright side and have even been known to laugh at myself.  That negativity is still there in my makeup but does not rule me anymore.  That is called transformation.

So the whole point of my rambling is to state my belief that we all sin and fall short of the Glory of God but we keep going everyday, every moment learning how God works through out strengths and weaknesses.  God really does love us.  We are always forgiven.  The greatest and unforgivable sin is not accepting Gods complete love and forgiveness.  We can turn ourselves away from God but God never turns away from us.  The Creator made us and we live within our creator.

I don't have the date that I wrote this.  I can tell that I was working on my Tarot because of the strengths and weaknesses.  I used God alot but please know that I meant God & Goddess.

I am drawn to articles regarding change and spiritual growth.  This morning I had a thought about my constant search for who I am and this is not a new thought.  I am who I am.  When will I ever be satisfied with that.  Why the desire to be someone else?  Everyone has their place in this creation.  We need to fulfill that position from beginning to end.  To be dissatisfied all the time is very selfish and disruptive.  How can I see/feel the movement of creation when I am so busy looking in all the wrong places.  Is it not better to be at peace where and who you are and allow the energy to move you and move through you.  To be here and now! 

Saturday I went to the Psychic Fair in Roswell with M & C.  I wanted Dr Lee to work on C's back.  M got two different readings that were very positive to her.  Yes, I was the negative influence in her early life.  But I couldn't help myself at the time.  I had a terrific reading though.  I was told to learn how to receive from other and how to take care of myself.  My cup was empty and I needed regeneration.  Absolutely!  I have just been setting around waiting for things to happen instead of taking charge of my life.

I did hear that my Grandmother was at peace and that I can talk to her.  She brought me a rose.  Also, the worry I had about her relationship with her daughter (my mom) is none of my concern.  She said there was a lot I don't know about.  It is a soul relationship for them to work out.  She says she only had my happiness in mind.

Well, I hope she looks after my Mom because she needs it.

I am happy she is aware of me and hope we can meet on the other side.  I always remember how she would just hold me whenever I needed to be held.  I know she loved me.  I am sorry I ran from her and was angry and avoided her for so long.  I need to grow up.  It takes me a while to understand.  I hope she loves my M. 

I love you Grandma and I thank you for raising me.

The "honkers" just flew over our home on the way to the Chattahoochee River.  I feel so alive & assured when I hear them.  God's in Her Heaven and all is right with the world.  Our townhouse doesn't have the beautiful view that our apartment had but we are on the same level as the tree tops and you can hear and see the birds as they forage for food.  If I had spent more time trying to identify bird songs, I would have my hands full with identification this morning.

The cats are gathering around.  It must be time for me to fill food and water dishes and clean their scratch boxes.  However, it is Sunday morning and I am NOT moving!

What a wonderful gift to have OT home on Saturday and Sunday.  Thank you for changing his hours!  When he is home I feel that our "house" is a home.  I enjoy picking up and running the vacuum.  This probably sounds strange.  Without OT, I would probably just keep my bedroom clean since this is where I would hangout.  But with Own home on weekends, I need to keep the downstairs clean and I'll spend more time cleaning in that area.

I am having difficulty writing.  Can't seem to control the speed my pen (I was writing in my journal).  My thoughts move faster than my hand can write -- creates messy hand writing and looks like unclear thinking.  I prefer to use the computer but it is not comfortable to sit at for long stretches of time.  Plus, I just haven't found a satisfactory way and place to journal.

The tarot cards have been very positive and supportive recently.  They are encouraging me to let the past go and move on.  Something that needs to be done everyday.  Also, my dreams of late have been filled with people who are not familiar and places I have never been before.

In this morning's dream, we were parking a car and hit the side of a fancy sports car because they had parked in part of our space.  There was a very pretty but ditzy young woman who was driving this car.  OT backed up and parked better.  We discussed whether we did any damage to the car.  Then I got out and went over to this other car, a yellow sports car, to look for damage.  The girl sort of leaned over the back of her car onto the trunk while I wiped several places with my hand.  I discovered that I had a picture of someone concealed in my palm.  There was a puncture mark on the sports car but it was old and had rust in it.  I can't believe how nice I was to this woman -- like I knew her all my life -- I just couldn't give her enough attention and advice.  Lots of love and caring.

When we were settled on the ship (you probably wonder how I got there but remember it is just a dream)at a table waiting for our meal, I saw the young woman with a man who was very unpleasant.  I knew he was upset about the accident so I had to find a safer place for us.  All the other rooms were filled or at least there were no vacancies for two of us to sit together.  I didn't want to split us up.  Finally I found a table on deck where we could see the water -- it was blue and calm.  And we were peacefully together.  End of dream.

What a great day.  M & C about me lunch.  OT made a great barbecue supper.  I don't have any control when it come to food.

I must watch too much tv before bed and I have gained a good deal of control over food (5/15/09 eam)

Happy 59th birthday, kid!  Enjoyed talking with Mom and Dad!  Imagine, after a lifetime the scales have gone from my eyes and my heart and I am finally able to love my parents.  What a blessing!

Growing older and growing up helps put a perspective on one's life.  (5/15/09 eam)

Did you know that the birth flower for January is Dianthus caryophyllus, the Carnation?  January is my birth month and I have always loved carnations.  Now I realize that I have been going with the flow all along regarding flowers.  Hmm!

I discovered a bit of mythology around Carnations at http://whisperingworlds.com. 

- In the 13^th century, Crusaders in Tunis drank a mixture of carnation leaves with wine to control the raging fevers of the plague. 

- In the 16^th century John Gerard wrote in his herbal that the flowers of carnations and sugar mixed to a conserve could be used to expel fevers and poison and was a comfort to the heart.

- A Christian legend says that where Mary’s tear drops fell when she saw Jesus carrying his cross carnations began to grow.  According to the website, this might be why Pink carnations were chosen as a symbol of motherly love.

- A young Italian woman named Margherita fell in love with a knight whose name was Orlando.  She supposedly gave Orlando a white carnation which he carried with him when he went off to war.  Orlando was mortally wounded and his blood stained the center of the white carnation which was returned to Margherita.  She planted the seeds and every blossom that came from the seeds was white with crimson centers.  It became the custom in her family from that day to deliver a vase of white carnations with crimson centers to each baby girl born into the family.

- Carnations are used to tell fortunes in Korea.  Young girls place three carnations in their hair.  If the top flower dies first, this signifies that her last years would be difficult.  If the center flower dies first, the earlier years would be difficult and hard.  If the bottom flower died first then her entire life would be miserable.

There is a City of Carnation located in rural Western Washington with a population of 1,905 residents.  It is approximately 30 miles east of Seattle and located in the beautiful Snoqualmie Valley.  The town was originally named Tolt but was changed to Carnation  in 1917 after the world famous Carnation Dairy that operated there from 1910.

The scientific name dianthus translates to “flower of love” or “flower of the gods.”  With a history covering over 2,000 years, the carnation is one of the world’s oldest cultivated flower varieties.  It is appreciated for its ruffled appearance, clove-like scent, and extended blooming period.  (Information taken from http://proflowers.com.)

The meanings of carnations include fascination, distinction and love.  Like many other flowers, different messages can also be expressed with flower’s different color varieties.

Wikipedia stated that there are two bands named Carnation and they are as follows:

          The Carnations, a Canadian indie rock band, and

          Green Carnation, a Norwegian progressive metal band

Of course, we all should know that Carnation is a registered trademark for a food and drink brand.

However, I was truly surprised to learn that there was a military coup, the Carnation Revolution that began on April 25, 1974, in Lisbon, Portugal.   The pro-independence guerrillas made repeated appeals to the citizenry to stay home.  However, the population descended onto the streets holding red carnations (a symbolic flower of communism) by the thousands and convinced the soldiers to swap their bullets for flowers.  This brought about the end of the longest running authoritarian regime in Western Europe as well as the final dissolution of the Portuguese Empire.  Although the political police killed four people before surrendering, the revolution was unusual in that the revolutionaries did not use direct violence to achieve their goals.  (from http://en.wikipedia.org)

This is a very interesting beginning to my mother's family history.  Hope you enjoy what I discovered by searching various family trees on the internet.

There are of course various spellings of the name Latshaw that include Latscha, Latschar, Lachat, Lorsch, Lortscher, Latschaw, Leutscher & Lotscher.  It is a Mennonite family name that comes from Lotscher from Latterbach near Erlenbach in Simmental, canton of Bern, Switzerland.

According to my internet search, I discovered that Hans Lotscher who was born in Latterbach in  1601 was an Anabaptist.  He actually wrote a hymn of 41 stanzas which I cannot read.  (I have no foreign language experience.)  He was also persecuted for his beliefs and died in prison in Latterbach in 1673.   Two of his sons (Hans and Melchoir) and a daughter (Anna) were also imprisoned.  While in prison Hans wrote a letter that included the names of some 40 people who met their deaths in Bern because of their Anabaptist faith.  This letter was carried to the United States and is preserved in Ephrata, PA, in the Martyr's Mirror (E 1129-30).

Hans two sons escaped from prison but were recaptured and sentenced to galley service in 1671 to 1673.  They returned to claim their inheritance upon their father's death but it was denied them.  Eventually Hans and Melchior were forced to leave Switzerland because of their religious beliefs.  They first went to Maasmunster in Upper Alsace.

This is as far as I have gotten in reading the history information.  I have traced my family line back to my mother though.  It is really exciting to me to study genealogy.  It is like watching the roots of your family spread far out from you as an individual.  Life moves forward from the farthest root and encompasses a very large tree with many branches spreading out to the sky.  I am but a tiny cell in the structure.  I didn't begin and I won't end it but I am not alone.

Thanks to a Mr. Roller and the Brodnax family tree, I was able to find the roots of my family on my father's side. 

Our family had its beginnings in Reichshoffen, Bas-Rhin, Alsace, France, in the late 1600's with Peter/Pierre CONNET.  He was born between 1662-1705 and died between 1702-1785.  His wife was Catherine GEORG (or Catharina Joerger/Georger) who was born between 1668-1708 and died between 1702-1792.   They were married in Reichshoffer between 1702-1742. 

Peter and Catherine had three children (all males) as follows:

1.  Joseph CONNET who was listed in 1773 as a citizen and a farmer.  He was born between 1702-1731 and died between 1757-1816.  He married Anne Elizabeth WACKERMAN.  This is the root that my family tree follows.

2.  Francois CONNET was born between 1692-1743 and died between 1728-1821.  He married Catharine WACKERMAN who was born between 1693-1749 and died between 1728-1828. 

3.  Jean CONNET was born between 1692-1723 and died between 1728-1821.  His wife was Barbe WACKERMAN who was born between 1693-1749 and died between 1728-1828. 

Reichshoffen is a small town and commune in the Bas-Rhin region of France.  The commune is a small gathering of people sharing a common life and is the rough equivalent to incorporate municipalities in the US.  Before the French Revolution the lowest level of administrative division was the parish.  The parish was essentially a church, the houses around it (known as the village) and the agricultural land around the village.  Among other things the priest in charge of the parish was required to record baptisms, marriage and burials and it is from these records that genealogy may be traced. 

The name France comes from the Latin Francia which means "land of the Franks."  The Rhine river forms the eastern boarder of Bas Rhin and the area is also home to some of the foothills of the Vosges.  Mr. Roller pointed out in his research that ore mines were common in the Reichshoffen area similar to those in Pennsylvania.

Sources of information on the genealogy for the Gunnett/Connet family come from Catholic parish records of Reichshoffen, Alsace, France.  Also church records of Conewago Chapel,  McSherrystown, Union Township, Adams County, PA, and St. Paul's PE Parish, Baltimore, MD.  Donald Gunnet of York, PA had a professional genealogist in Strasbourg, France, research the family in Alsace, France.

This is the most incredible posting to the Internet.  It is called Life is Like a Train Ride.  Here is the website www.pixiesplace.com/trainride.  It is beautiful and very true.

My life has been filled with my daughter's wedding.  The experience, though stressful at times, was the high point of my life.  She got her wish and was married in a lodge on a mountain and it even snowed.  The wedding was so sweet with family and friends surrounding her and Chris.  Their love for one another shone like a beautiful light that touched us all.

Meagan has taken the summer off to relax.  In the fall it is back to school and another semester closer to applying for medical school.

My husband retired last year (thank goodness) and is working part time as a waiter and bartender at a very nice restaurant near our home. 

I am still gainfully employed by dear friends who overpay me and show me great respect.  It took 40 years to find a job like this.  Well, the journey was worth the destination.

I have been doing a bit of genealogy work on my family.  On my father's side, I have been able to trace our roots to France, Germany, Netherlands and Native America.  I will probably be posting information about my discoveries here.  Hope you enjoy the blogs.

Until I post again, Love and Blessings

On CNN this morning there was a report that King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia pardoned a woman sentenced to 200 lashes and six months in prison in the wake of her gang-rape case.  WHAT!!!  Thank goodness the King had enough sense to pardon her.  But really what is this punishing the woman for her rape?  This is the most backward and upside down  idea I have heard recently.  When are women "en masse" in the Third World Nations going to rise up against the unjust and unfair treatment they receive at the hands of men (not all men, mind you).  I cannot see change in these countries until the women are able to say "No!" to their abuse and that of their children.  Men enjoy the power stuggles at any cost while the women and children are made to suffer like pawns in a game.  No more!  No more!  Women of the civilized world unite, demonstrate, pray and do whatever it takes to support our counterparts in the Third World.  Change must occur and soon I hope.