Hello my dear friends.  I have been visiting groups on the net to see if there was a place for me to participate.  Guess not!  Written communication is very difficult.  From my words you are not always able to tell if I am joking or serious.  Usually everyone believes the latter.  Don't take me wrong.  I am a very serious person who expresses herself by humor.  Life is just too much to take seriously every second of the day.  And why should I make my fellow human being depressed because I am seriously contemplating the fate of something or other.  Goodness.  Seems unkind.  I would rather hear a persons laughter.  It lights up the atmosphere and lightens the load.  However, I do like to get into a rousing conversation.  Nothing like being the devil's advocate.  One should always look at all sides of an argument to see the truth.  This is the safest place for me to be.  I can say what is on my mind.  Any and all comments are welcome. 

I have a week off from work.  Yipee!  Tomorrow I must be at the hospital at 6:30 am for my colonoscopy.  About two months ago the gastroenterologist took a biopsy of one little polyp.  She planned to remove the whole thing as is custom but because of the blood thinner I take, she was afraid I wouldn't stop bleeding.  So I am back in to take out the pre-cancerous polyp.  Don't panic.  If you have never had a colonoscopy, it is one of the easiest procedures to go through.  You simply do not remember any of it.  And as far as recuperation, well you really don't need any.  I am just taking the time off because I have it.  I read up on colon polyps and discovered that they are very slow growing.  It can take up to 10 years for a polyp to become cancerous. 

My daughter is finally working at a restaurant as a waitress.  She is very excited.  Tips are very good.  I'm happy because she will be able to have money for her own expenses.  I may have some money at the end of the week in my checking account.  Chris is doing really well with his job.  He needs to learn to save money.  Maybe he will be able to do that with Megs having her own money.  She is a chip off the old motherlode that is for sure.  I can spend money faster than anyone. 

The rug cleaners are coming tomorrow to do the Living Room and hallway.  Hopefully, it will be dry by evening.  The apartment office swears that it will be.  One place I lived the carpets were cleaned and were soaking for days.  Carpet was totally ruined.  Needless to say the apartment office wouldn't give us a new rug.  We eventually moved.

Well that is life in part of the earth.  Hope yours is going well.  Love and hugs.  zera

It is so much easier to wander about the meaning of life when one is depressed, sad, frightened, etc.  When all is serene and happy, I could care about the meaning of it all.  I can sit here typing while looking out the sliding glass door at the tops of the beautiful green trees.  The familiar mist rising off the Chattahoochee is beginning to rise and dissipate as the sun rises in the sky.  My garden is ready for another hot day.  I may need to give them some extra water.  My purple petunias didn't make it.  I'll have to get rid of the dirt in that pot.  We had toadstools growing with the flowers.  It was humorous in a way because it was during the really rainy week.  But unfortunately everything is dead in the pot now.

I cleaned the Beta's bowl last week and the bamboo and the other water plant are keeping it really clean.  He is so happy swimming through the roots of the one plant.  Oops!  I just remembered that the tank of tetras need to be fed.  I need to get them some new plants for the tank.  My fish are about 4 years old this year.  They are a hardy group.

It's hard to be God/dess in your own world.  So many lives depend on you -- plants need food and water, my fish need cared for, our little hamster, my two cats and even my daughter and husband who have free will.  I am not sure where I want to go with this thought.  Memories of two dogs that had to be put to sleep are filling my heart at this moment.  Someone poisoned my little Buffy.  I was a young God/dess then and didn't realize the power I had to love and heal and protect.  I could have done so much more to comfort him.  For many years I refused to have pets because of that experience.  Of course when Megs came into the world and began to grow, pets slipped into my world.  We had two hamsters escape.  One hamster feel about a foot from my hands (of course) into her cage.  She must have broken something and within a month she died.  I remember she looked really bad and I sent a crying Megs outside to play with her friends.  I said I would watch over the hamster.  After she left I told OT that the hamster was dying.  I sat by the cage and prayed that this little mammal would pass quickly and be free of her pain.  She died before I said amen.  Owen buried her under the trees behind the apartment and came down with poison oak the next day.  I had lost fish from my own mismanagement and some just from old age or reason unknown.  But I have become a wiser God/dess.  I could say that I wouldn't be as caring if my heart had not already been broken by the sight of my poor Buffy dying.  The Vet said he was sick but to give him a few days after taking some pills to see if he didn't improve.  Buffy wouldn't even open his jaws to to take the pills.  The next day I took Buff to another vet and had him put to sleep.  If I had been more aware of my dog a couple weeks earlier, perhaps we would never have gotten to that place.  I can't go back and change the past but I can try to be more conscious of those I care for now and in the future.  A God/dess isn't born knowing everything but instead learns from the experiences of a lifetime.  The heart and the mind must learn a balance in life to become wise.                   Love  zera

I have to admit that I am depressed.   Joy has taken a vacation from my life and I am running on bland.  Okay, so I have lived most of my life on high octane with a short fuse.  But living on bland is utterly boring.  I really am not inspired to do much of anything.  Every morning  is the same.   Chris doesn't leave for work until noon so I spend the morning doing quiet pick up type chores.  Can't run the vacuum or get into a serious cleaning project until after he is up.  By then my energy is on the ebb.  I want to be able to soar on the air currents with an occasional flap of the wings.  Feel the wind through my hair and breathe deeply of this beautiful earth.  Well, there you have it.  I am bored and I am the only one who can change it.  So here I sit thinking about all the things that I need to do and my joy turns off. 

How can my flowers be so wilted when it is at least 80% humid outside.  I wilt too but they should be able to suck in the humidity.  Answered my own question.  I just a clear picture of myself standing outside in this hot weather.  Not a pretty sight for sure. 

Megs is going to a gym now that has an indoor pool for laps and water aerobics.  So, I need to buy her a one piece bathing suit and an exercise outfit.  When do I stop paying out money for her????????  It is not that I mind buying her things because I love to get her whatever she wants.  However, money is a bit tight.  Which do I spend my $30 on a bathing suit or filling a prescription?  Hmmmm.  Hard decision.  I'll get her the bathing suit and hope that WalMart has one she likes.

There is no way to be free of the responsibilities of being an adult here on planet earth.  You can pretend they don't exist for awhile but eventually the house needs to be cleaned, the bills need to be  paid, someone wants fed and you must take a bath to feel human.  This then is the deep and burning question "Why did I not realize what it would be like to be a grown up when I was young and tender and wanted to grow up so quickly?" 

There must be a way to keep the child alive until the day you die.  I am not exactly sure there is any one way to do it but I am going to try to allow the child to come out and play because this old lady is tired of being so straitlaced.  Love to you all.  zera

Here I sit at my lovely computer and in seconds I am able to communicate with people all over the world (or parts of it at least).  Isn't it amazing?  We switched internet carriers and have had a few bumps.  Think it is our computer which is very sensitive to having additions and deletions.  After a 1 hour call to customer service in India, we finally got the service up and running again.  Now, if I can only get my email back on line.  This is worse than trying to keep track of a four year old.  I am getting toooooooo old for all this mess.  I expect push button accuracy every time I sit down in front of this machine.  Afterall, it can't run and hide from me or throw a temper tantrum.  However, I really believe there is a gremlin that lives in this little emachine that does me in every so many weeks.  (Hmmm!  similar to a menstrual period?)  Wow!  Perhaps I have one of those almost human computers?  Better talk nice to it or it will go on the fritz again.  Nice emachine.  I got up at 4 am to call customer service regarding the email problem only to find out that they are not available until 8 am.  I think my mind is going mushy because I got up a bit too early.  Time to get ready for work now.  Ahhhhhhh!  The good life.  When can I retire again?  Blessings.  zera

Do you remember the cartoon where Snoopy would sit in a tree and stare down at people with his big eyes that made him look like a vulture?  Well, Mocha is doing that now.  He has a new sitting and observing place.  We changed out desks from Megs room to the living room and put the computer on it.  Now the cats can jump up and wander around while I am on the computer.  They can no longer jump up on the entertainment center since I moved the computer desk next to the sliding glass door.  I think this arrangement is much more fun for them.  They can oversee the hamster to my right and check on the Beta to my left and be taller than anyone else. 

Time flies much too quickly in the morning.  I have to get ready for work now.  You all take care.  love   zera

It is the 4th of July with the promise of wonderful fireworks tonight.  And it is a Sunday.  Yipee!  My cats are not getting along very well.  I had to pull Mocha out of the middle of a hissy fit and explain to him very calmly to leave Sweetie alone.  I know they understand me.  They just like to pretend they "No comprende"! 

Three day weekends mean that I can spread the housekeeping out over three days instead of trying to squeeze it into part of Saturday and all day Sunday.  It gives me an extra day to be lazy.  I no longer push everything into the middle of the room every Saturday and begin my cleaning around the outside and work into the middle.  That was for when I was in my 20s.  Helped to deal with a lot of frustration as well.

No, I am more of the feather duster and a quick sweep of the rug.  Throw rugs get a shaking. And voila, I am done.  Of course there is always a need to clean the kitchen and bathroom floors.  Cabinets in the kitchen always need a little spit and polish.  I hate bathrooms but they need a good cleaning at least once a week.  And so goes my weekend.

My husband is becoming the computer wizard at our house.  At least he can restore the system when it gets all goofy.  I am very proud of him.  He is a reader of directions and it may take him a bit of time but he will  get everything installed and working correctly.  I on the other hand hate to read anything.  And that is why I need to stay away from the computer when it has a problem.  It is better to ask me how to use excel or a problem with power point or word since I use them at work all day every day.

The kids are going to his parents' home today for dinner and then out to see the fireworks.  Megs starts a job on Thursday.  She is so excited.  Yipee!  So am I.

Well, that is all the news that is fit  to print.  Hope you are all well.  I will spend time visiting everyone today.  Talk to you at your sites.  Love zera

My daughter told me the other day to stop the feminist crap.  Ouch!  One more time I had to stop and reconsider what I had just said to her.  And she was correct in her remarks that I was just trashing men.  Why?  Bad habit learned from years of experience?  Ideas picked up from all the articles I have read about other women's experiences in life?  I know that we grew up in a time when women had to fight for their rights.  Remember that a girl's possibilities after leaving high school were to get married, become a teacher or a librarian and should she be lucky enough to go to college it was only to find a husband.  Women and children could be abused by the man and the police would not interfere.  And on and on.  It only takes a few seconds to remember the "good" old days, I'm sure.  My daughter's world is different -- not better -- just different.  Things change and things stay the same.  I am trying to see the world through her eyes and add a little wisdom where needed but generalizing based on my experiences just doesn't work.  This is the generation gap that we all experience.  Walk a mile in someone's shoes but remember to walk in the their time frame of reference otherwise our words (like seeds) have no place grow.  Speaking of which, I have no idea where I was going with this.  Hope it dropped a few seeds on good ground.  Blessings.  zera 

This past Saturday, I had the good fortune of being the designee to hold a covered pavilion at the park where my office planned their summer picnic.  Below are thoughts from my 3 1/2 hour stay alone by the Chattahoochee River.

Pre-Picnic at the Chattahoochee

Like the good camper that I am, I hiked from our apartments up on the granite hill to the Chattahoochee River Park just below our apartment complex.  Well, not exactly right below even though it seems like it when we drive there.  It was more like half a mile or so.  Anyway, at 7:30 in the morning the air was already thick with humidity and the sun when not hidden by the trees was very hot.  I discovered soon after starting the hike that the road was closed for several hours to make way for runners who were participating in a race on Azalea Drive.  If I had known that sooner, I would have waited an hour or so before coming to the river to hold the covered Pavilion.  However, to my surprise, I am glad I arrived to early.

I picked the covered pavilion that was within 8 feet of the river and was surrounded by beautiful tall trees.  A sweet breeze drifted in off the river to keep the pavilion cool. When I arrived the geese sleeping on the tables were only slightly offended that I disturbed them.  After a small bit of noise and the ruffling of feathers they resumed their morning siesta.  I found a table that was clean and set about writing in my journal.  It was so peaceful on the river that early in the morning.  There was one young man about 20 feet away leaning against a big old tree at the edge of the water fishing.  When I started talking to the geese, I saw him move further away.  Well anyone who would fish in the Chattahoochee should move out of my sight.  I wouldn’t eat the fish.  The river unfortunately is not that clean.

I watched the mist rise off of the water.  It was so magical especially when scullers from the local club came swiftly out of the mists for their daily rowing practice.  Not a sound but the slicing of the water by their oars.

 Not everyone understands quiet though.  A two-man scull went by where I was sitting and the man in back says that his girlfriend has a pool in her back yard that they can use.  The man in front responds, "What?'  They didn't see me and I was so tempted to respond to the scullers but was afraid I would cause them a panic attack at least thinking that God was really a Goddess and could hear everything they said.  Had a good silent laugh at the thought of my possible joke.

To my surprise I got to see the runners going up and down Azalea Drive.  A hearty bunch of folks.  They made me hot just watching them.  There were men and women of all ages and sizes out in the heat showing their lack of good sense (and a few with bad taste in jogging outfits) but tremendous personal endurance.  I had to cheer on the stragglers for their determination.  Where they continued on to the finish line, I would have given up in favor of water and a nap under the trees.

By 9:30 the race was over and the road was open to cars.  How sad in a way, because at that point in time, parents were arriving with their kids.  The solitude that I had experienced prior to that time was now being shattered.  Fortunately, everyone was having a good time and the children were not chasing the geese.  Geese can be very noisy. 

By 10 the set up crew began arriving.  Excitement was in the air.  Tables had to be cleaned for obvious reasons and plastic table clothes were purchased.  Dawna took charge of the balloons and we began to look very festive.

Hello!  I took the day off today to get my annual physical with my new internist.  I spent 2 hours with the nurse practitioner.  Good exam.  Like the new doctor's office.  My mild asthma has gotten a little worse so I am trying a new inhaler type medicine.  Then it was off to the dentist's office.  We discussed people dying.  You just never know what conversation you will be subjected to at the dentist office.  The receptionist had been rushed to the hospital with a bleeding ulcer that she never knew she had.  That started the conversation.

Well, daughter is on meds for her bipolar condition.  Only one med this time and it is slowly working.  It should take about a month to have it really working in her system. 

I am still visiting around Xanga.  Takes me a long time to read all the blogs.  So, just drop comments for me to read and by the weekend I should be up and running with my usual dialog.  Love to you all.  zera

Good morning!  I am visiting around XangaLand.  Reading my dear friends blogs and visiting new friends.  Once I have made my rounds, I will surely have something to say.  Till then, love zera